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1. |
Purple Yesterday
01:54
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She dresses funny, I don't mind, I don't mind
She sticks like honey in my mind all the time
My heart starts to palpitate
I can feel my brain deflate
I feel great, I feel great, I feel great
She dresses scary, that's all right, that's all right
Her clothes are very out of sight every night
When she walks through Harvard Square
She just lets the people stare
She don't care, she don't care, she don't care
Her hair was purple yesterday
Before she shaved it all away
She doesn't want to be beautiful
She doesn't need to be beautiful
She had a purple head of hair
But now today it isn't there
She doesn't care if she's beautiful
Your definition of beautiful
And she looks like such a fierce thing
But I know it isn't so
In her leather and her piercings
She's the sweetest thing I know
She's got a boyfriend, that's okay, that's okay
We wouldn't last more than a day anyway
But why does she affect me so
Every time she says hello
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Her hair was purple yesterday
Before she shaved it all away
She doesn't want to be beautiful
She doesn't need to be beautiful
Her hair was purple way back when
And someday it will be again
I don't care if she's beautiful
My definition of beautiful
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2. |
My Dinner With Laurie
05:11
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I was in the supermarket, buying food. In the produce section, I
noticed a woman holding an eggplant and a zucchini, saying "Eggplant, or zucchini? Eggplant, or zucchini?" It was Laurie Anderson. I should have known, I guess; she was wearing a name tag.
I said "Zucchini!" and she smiled at me kindly, as if I didn't quite
get the joke. And she said "So, do you want to come over for dinner tonight?" And I said "Sure, I love zucchini!" And she replaced the vegetables and she said, "Oh, that, I was just practicing."
And she said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And she said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV
And I said "Come on Laurie, cut the performance art shit. Can't we have a normal conversation?" And she said "This isn't a normal conversation. This is your song." And I said "Whoa."
She lived on the fifteenth floor. She said "I move up one floor every year. It helps to cure my fear of heights." And I said "Oh yeah? Well, what are you going to do when you reach the top floor of the building?" And she said "Look, do you want dinner, or not?"
And she said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And she said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV
And I said "Take me to the bridge, Laurie. Take me. Take me to the bridge."
After the bridge incident, we had dinner, and it was delicious. I
told her that it was like being inside a beautiful seashell with the
mind of the cook. And she said "Great. Did you like it?" And I said "Like it? The earth moved!" And she said "Of course the earth moved. The earth always moves. If it ever stopped moving, we'd all be flung off into space." And I said "Oh no, Laurie. You wouldn't be flung off into space. I'd hold you. I'd hold you tight. I'd hold you.
I'd hold you tight."
And I said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And I said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV
And she said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And we said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV
And I said
Cool
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3. |
Chair
03:13
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It's a chair
Sit in it
It's so comfy, it's so nice
It's a chair
Perfect fit
You don't have to ask me twice
Cause I can bend my leg at the knee
I can bend myself at the waist
Guess it's just a matter of taste
It's a chair
Isn't it
Yeah
It's a chair
Sit in it
Made of leather, made of wood
It's a chair
Perfect fit
Utilize it if I could
Cause I can bend my leg at the knee
I can bend myself at the waist
Guess it's just a matter of taste
It's a chair
Isn't it
Yeah
I wouldn't lie
I wouldn't stand
I don't kneel
No, I sit on my hands
There's just one thing that keeps me sane
And it's not a bird and it's not a plane
It's a chair
Sit in it
Sofa loveseat couch or stool
It's a chair
Perfect fit
Tell you why it makes me drool
Cause I can bend my leg at the knee
I can bend myself at the waist
Guess it's just a matter of taste
It's a chair
It's a chair
Sit
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4. |
You Don't Love Me Yet
02:23
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Anything you do with a telephone
I can do with a piece of string
I never try to call you cause you're always at home
You're just waiting for the phone to ring
I could be your object, baby
You could be my thing
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
I'm handsome and I'm clever and I play the clarinet
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
Anything you do with superglue
I can do with a rubber band
You'll shoot it at my eye and then I'll die
Yeah I know you've got it planned
Then you could throw me in a ditch
And cover me with sand
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
You could be my Romeo and I your Juliet
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
I've got references
I've got references
I've got references
I know several women who would tell you under oath
That men are good for just two things and I excel at both
Yeah you're lucky that I'm single, better catch me while you can
If you wait too long then I'll have taken someone else's hand
They're lining up behind you now and everyone's a fan
Anything you do with a rolodex
I can do with an index card
I'm writing down the things that you're gonna do next
No it isn't very hard
You could cover me with leaves
And burn me in your yard
But you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
I could be your Mickey Mouse and you'd be my Annette
I played Bjorn Borg at tennis and I won most every set
I look like Charles Lindbergh and I'd like to fly a jet
I'm very fond of animals although I'm not a vet
I know your brain is saying da but your heart still says nyet
Cause you don't love me yet
You don't love me yet
(Other lines that sometimes sneak in there:
I could be your Montague and you my Capulet
I'm the biggest thing in music since Alanis Morissette)
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5. |
Everybody Knows
04:14
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They look at me
And they don't like what they see
I can hear them whispering
I know just what they heard
They're repeating every word
I can see right through their eyes
I wish that I could take it back
And let the movie fade to black
But everybody knows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows by now
And I won't talk to anyone
And I won't look at anyone
I have no need of anyone
I want to be alone
I'm keeping track
Of what they say behind my back
Tell me, can you keep a secret?
I'm still working hard
I'm not letting down my guard
Maybe someday they'll forget
I wish that it was yesterday
When everything was still okay
But everybody knows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows by now
And I won't talk to anyone
And I won't look at anyone
I'm not in love with anyone
I want to be alone
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows by now
And I won't talk to anyone
And I won't look at anyone
I don't believe in anyone
I want to be alone
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6. |
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My friends and I we go to Zanzibar
I see a pretty girl but I won't get too far
Cause she's just staring at my friend
Now they're talking laughing I feel dead
Maybe I'll just go to bed
We're at this party of a friend of mine
I ask this woman if she'd like some wine
She says "No thanks I never drink"
Then she looks at my friend I see her wink
As I turn I hear their glasses clink
I won't find my wife in this bar
Now we're in this smoky bar in Somerville
Talking to this girl she's cute and dressed to kill
She says "I think you're funny too
But I'd rather be dead than dance with you
Cause you're not white as Elmer's glue"
I won't find my wife in this bar
Is this another Bates reunion
Or Hamilton, Tufts, or Colby?
Does it really matter where I go?
I won't find my wife in this bar
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7. |
I'm Still Around
05:16
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I met a man on the radio with a turpentine tattoo
He could tie his shoes from fifty feet, he reminded me of you
Why'd you go
Why'd you shoot my brother
He was only teasing
You know he loved your elbows
All seventeen of them
I met another psychopath, he was very nice indeed
He could do a load of laundry with unprecedented speed
Why'd you leave
Why'd you take my hedgehog
He had a spiky haircut
He was no echidna
His attitude just quit
But I'm still around
One foot on the pavement and six feet underground
Oh yeah
I wonder what became of you, we thought you'd be a star
I guess if you're in heaven that's exactly what you are
It was fun
It was asymptotic
Approaching next to nothing
Girl we almost got there
Have fun in Baltimore
But I'm still around
One foot on the pavement and six feet underground
I'm still around
Trying to fast forward the things that we rewound
Oh yeah
Goodbye Jane
Goodbye Julianne
The tape gets worn every time it's replayed
People change and memories fade
She was my world a long time ago
Now she's someone that I used to know
Send a Christmas card every year
How's the baby, wish you were here
She was my world a long time ago
Now she's someone that I used to know
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8. |
All Of The Cool Girls
03:31
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Now I thought that Kate was groovy
Thought that I could make her mine
But when I asked her to a movie
She respectfully declined
She said she'd be my comrade
And she said she'd be my friend
But she couldn't be my lover
Cause she was a lesbian
I've tried so hard to understand
Why it's got to be this way
Won't someone tell me
Why all of the cool girls are gay
Now I really liked Melissa
Yeah, I thought she was so tender
But when I tried to kiss her
She told me I was the wrong gender
She said she'd be my buddy
And she said she'd be my pal
But she couldn't be my girlfriend
Cause she's homosexual
I wish someone would inform me
And banish my naivete
Won't someone tell me
Why all of the cool girls are gay
I've been around for years
And I still don't understand why
But no one I want to do it with
Wants to do it with a guy
Now Kate lives with Melissa
And me I live alone
And the three of us go out
But then the two of them go home
They say I'm really special
And I think that they're both great
But I'd really like to find someone
Who likes me and who's straight
I've asked the whole world over
But no one who knows will say
Won't someone tell me
Why all of the cool girls are gay
I woke up and thought that things had changed
But it's the same as yesterday
Won't someone tell me
Why all of the cool girls are lesbians
Why all of the cool girls just don't like men
Why all of the cool girls are gay
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9. |
Organism
03:11
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Beauty is only skin deep
But how deep does beauty need to be?
Organs are all very fine
But they're not the things I want to see
I don't want your liver
I don't want your heart
It's warm and wet and bloody and it's tearing me apart
I don't want your kidneys
I don't want your brain
It's cold and wet and clammy and it's driving me insane
You're an organism
Don't try to deny it
Cause you are what you eat
And I've been monitoring your diet
Slowly you breathe in and out
As fluids and gas move through your frame
They travel to your hands and your feet
And then they return the way they came
I can hear you bubble
I can hear you hiss
I know it should repulse me but instead I'm filled with bliss
I can hear you gurgle
I can hear you sigh
It makes me want to kiss you and I'm sure I don't know why
You're an organism
Don't try to deny it
And if I were you
I'd do my best to keep it quiet
You're flesh and blood and meat and bone
With a layer of skin upon it
If I could see your insides, dear
I probably would vomit
But luckily they're hidden from me
Your skin makes an excellent facade
Darling, you're slimy and wet
But I've grown accustomed to your bod
So I guess I love you
Despite the things I thought
Your body may be gross but it's the only one you've got
You're gradually decomposing
You constantly decay
But truth to tell I wouldn't have you any other way
You're an organism
Don't try to deny it
And if you sell your soul
I'll be the first in line to buy it
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10. |
Make You Laugh
05:06
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Any attention is better than none
I'll do anything at all
It's part of human nature
People laugh when other people fall
And I'll fall for you
I'll fall for you
But every time I'll get right up
Cause I'm sweet
And I'm funny
I'm glad I make you laugh
I'm nice
And I'm special
And I'm just here for your amusement
I'm just here for your amusement
Don't you wish I were?
Well how strange, you wish the same as her
Any opinion is better than none
Tell me who you think I am
Joking and kidding and laughter aside
Somewhere in here there's a man
And he'll fall for you
He'll fall for you
And some day he might not get up
But I'm sweet
And I'm funny
I'm glad I make you laugh
I'm nice
And I'm special
And you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me
Don't you wish you did?
Well it's hard, I keep it very well hid
What is pain?
I do not know what that word means
And you laugh and you cheer
And that's why I'm here
We hope you have enjoyed the show
And I'm sweet
And I'm funny
I hope I make you laugh
I'm weird
And I'm creepy
And I could write a book about it
I could write a book about it
I could write a song
It wouldn't hold your attention long
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11. |
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Another person you had sex with
Wasn't it fine
Was it his body or was it his mind
Another guy you left behind
Another person you had sex with
Wasn't it great
When did he turn into someone you hate
Another month another mate
Another person you had sex with
Who where and when
How many women and how many men
How many did you see again
How many people you had sex with
I'll never learn
How could I think that I wouldn't get burned
And now it's someone else's turn
To be a person you had sex with
You'll never lose
How many people you think you can use
It won't be hard for you to choose
Another person to have sex
Another person you can wreck
Another person you had sex with
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12. |
That's Okay
03:57
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That's your ghost next to me
You don't know what I can't see
In my arms yesterday
Now you're gone
But that's okay
I enjoy solitude
Don't need grief
I'm not in the mood
You be you, I'll be me
That's the most that we could be
We had our fun, we made our hay
And now you're gone
But that's okay
I enjoy solitude
Don't need grief
I'm not in the mood
And I don't need another lover
How would I find another lover?
What's your name? What's your number?
Can I take you home tonight?
Want a drink? Want a lover?
Do you come here often?
No, I prefer solitude
By myself, in the dark
No one has to have my heart
I had some friends, they went away
I don't need them
Cause I'm okay
I enjoy solitude
Don't need grief
It's just an attitude
And I'm tired of losses, tired of wins
Tired of frowns and tired of grins
Now I'll decide how it begins and how it ends
And I can make another set of friends
And I can make another set of friends
I can make another
And that's okay
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13. |
She's Gone
02:50
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I wanna be John Murphy
Gonna trace her to the source
That music so surfy
And I won't get no divorce
Everything she touches
Like that bass she clutches
It's what I feed upon
She's going, she's going, girl she's gone
She's going, she's going, girl she's gone
She's going, she's going, she's moving on
She's going, she's going, she's gone
I wanna be a Breeder
That's what I want to be
I won't fight no seether
Not if Seether sounds just like me
Everyone's invited
Follow her like I did
You can sing along
She's going, she's going, girl she's gone
She's going, she's going, girl she's gone
She's going, she's going, she's moving on
She's going, she's going, she's gone
Gonna change my name to Tammy
Gonna buy myself an amp
I'll move to Miami
Yeah, I hear it's pretty damp
And I'm gonna stay there
If they let me play there
Time will prove me wrong
She's going, she's going, girl she's gone
She's going, she's going, girl she's gone
She's going, she's going, she's moving on
She's going, she's going, she's gone
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14. |
Hale-Bopp
02:59
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I can't see
In front of me
Every light I've ever known is shining down on me
I am divine
I've lost my mind
I've been waiting for this moment since the day that I was born
And you know that I'll be back
Yeah, you know that I'll be back
I'll be with you in the crowd
I'll be with you on the ground
Look at me
I'm twenty three
I got no one to hold me, got no one to hold me back
And I feel great
I'm forty eight
I got everything I need and that's the way it is
And I know you understand
Yeah, I know you understand
I gotta go
I gotta go
We've got a show
It's rock and roll, it's all right
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15. |
I Wish I Was Dead
01:59
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Things get so much harder
When we have to leave our bed
Wouldn't life be easier
If we were just dead?
Never have to put our clothes on
I wish I was dead and you were in my coffin
They'd be crying over us but inside we'd be laughing
No interruptions, in each other's arms forever
Won't you die with me? Oh, never say never
Loved you before you were born
I'll love you after you die
It's that part in the middle
That makes me want to cry
Let's just get it over with as soon as possible
Want to be what I want
Want to do what I want
What to want what I want
Want to be who you want
Want you
I want to decompose with you!
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Honest Bob & the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives Boston, Massachusetts
Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives are a rock-and-roll band founded in 1992 by four M.I.T. undergrads. The band
has endured for more than 20 years, released four full length albums.
The band is known for its lyrical wit and quirky subject matter, including such topics as Noam Chomsky's linguistics theories, the Time Cube, the Heaven's Gate cult, and the Star Wars movies.
... more
Honest Bob & the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives recommends:
A fun side project from two of Honest Bob's very own.
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