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lyrics

I was in the supermarket, buying food. In the produce section, I
noticed a woman holding an eggplant and a zucchini, saying "Eggplant, or zucchini? Eggplant, or zucchini?" It was Laurie Anderson. I should have known, I guess; she was wearing a name tag.

I said "Zucchini!" and she smiled at me kindly, as if I didn't quite
get the joke. And she said "So, do you want to come over for dinner tonight?" And I said "Sure, I love zucchini!" And she replaced the vegetables and she said, "Oh, that, I was just practicing."

And she said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And she said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV

And I said "Come on Laurie, cut the performance art shit. Can't we have a normal conversation?" And she said "This isn't a normal conversation. This is your song." And I said "Whoa."

She lived on the fifteenth floor. She said "I move up one floor every year. It helps to cure my fear of heights." And I said "Oh yeah? Well, what are you going to do when you reach the top floor of the building?" And she said "Look, do you want dinner, or not?"

And she said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And she said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV

And I said "Take me to the bridge, Laurie. Take me. Take me to the bridge."

After the bridge incident, we had dinner, and it was delicious. I
told her that it was like being inside a beautiful seashell with the
mind of the cook. And she said "Great. Did you like it?" And I said "Like it? The earth moved!" And she said "Of course the earth moved. The earth always moves. If it ever stopped moving, we'd all be flung off into space." And I said "Oh no, Laurie. You wouldn't be flung off into space. I'd hold you. I'd hold you tight. I'd hold you.
I'd hold you tight."

And I said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And I said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV
And she said ooh, it isn't very hard
The cellar's in the attic and the attic's in the yard
And we said ooh, try it now and see
The ocean's in the kitchen and the kitchen's on TV
And I said
Cool

credits

from It's Not As Bad As I'm Making It Sound, released January 1, 2000

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Honest Bob & the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives Boston, Massachusetts

Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives are a rock-and-roll band founded in 1992 by four M.I.T. undergrads. The band has endured for more than 20 years, released four full length albums.

The band is known for its lyrical wit and quirky subject matter, including such topics as Noam Chomsky's linguistics theories, the Time Cube, the Heaven's Gate cult, and the Star Wars movies. ... more

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